The very honest thought of my current nature


This blog always brings a nostalgic sensation whenever I click it. The most precise thing is I can see the innocence of my high school days; the moment when I was always anticipating new release and then I wrote a review about it while still having goosebumps..

The truth is … when I was still an eleventh grade student, approximately six years ago, I was bullied by my classmates. I cried a lot. I cried every time I went home and sometimes I cried secretly at school. It was too hard to describe but I thought I was living in hell where a whole class avoiding me. Some of them hated me and some of them were afraid to be hated because they were close to me. Moreover, I was once thinking of quitting school at that time. Fortunately, I made a right decision to discuss the problem with the teacher. As a result she helped me and took me into another class.

Few years after graduation, I always laughed every time I remember those hard times. I just thought it was silly, both the bullies and me. We were just too naive that we fought over unnecessary things. Then, I took it as a lesson. However, every time I remembered my high school days, I felt numb. I felt like I wasn’t there. There was an indescribable absence which I did not understand but I could sense something was missing. Then, I realized although I laugh as much as I could, I was still desperately injured inside. There was a deep pain causing an insecurity inside myself whenever I reminisced my teenage years. In the end, since that time, I always reflected on it. Once I experienced hard time, I would encourage myself that I could do it just like how I passed that obstacle.

This time is different. I dont laugh anymore when I recall those days. I think it was also my mistake. The mistake to be so weak and I didn’t stand up myself. I precisely hid and avoided trouble every time they wanted to make fun of me.

The reasons why I suddenly raise this topic is because I am in a frustrating state recently. I want to tell every single thing which annoy me but I am just so fed up of words. Although wise quotes are widely disseminated through out websites and social media, it’s not the same like the old days. I used to believe in all those words but ….. now, it’s heartbreaking as it seems I am fooled. They are no longer causing comfort in me because of the reality, they do not change things around me. This is embarrassing .. I live in the world of confusion. I cannot believe in anything, both from my own self and other people around me.

I Thank for My Life is Not a Movie

Watching movie is not only a hobby for me but it is also a daily need. I watch every type of movies, from several genres, from various languages and from various countries. I also love documentary film and other non-fiction films. It’s because I am always curious about things such as culture, society, lifestyle, imagination, point of view, and other people’s experiences. I am just always curious of human’s thought, that’s why sometimes I am way too over-thinking. Yes, I can be sensitive and over-thinking. It might be because of watching too many dramas. LoL. Just kidding.

Anyway, out of movies I’ve ever watched, I think Bollywood always like to repeat the same plot over and over again. It’s not like I dislike Bollywood. I love it so much and I personally think indian directors make so many great movies nowadays and the music is developing from classic, contemporary and modern.

Do you know a movie like Shahrukh Khan’s hits “Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge” in 1995? It was a massive hits up until now, some televisions still frequently air it sometimes in my country. I think most of bollywood movies are alike and adopt that movie scenes a lot. Nowadays (even from a long time), I found a lot of movies like that old one. I think the crew just make it newer by pouring some good modern type of music and younger casts.

There will be always a scary father, an innocent young girl who is waiting for her love bird and a silly young man who was supposed to be good for nothing but always trying to be heroic to fight for his true love. There will be love at first sight. There will be a wedding in the end of the story or the couple might met in their friend’s big fat wedding for the first time. There will be a forbidden love and their solution is always about running away or escape. However, the ending is exactly a happily ever after. I admit I like happy ending but sometimes I feel it’s just too good to be true.

Everything is just about timing. It’s only because the writer decided to end the story in the wedding so it looks happy and sweet. What if the story continues into their marriage life. Who knows something bad possibly happen? There is no perfect marriage life, right? If only the couple face a new problem such as financial problem, the man goes to spend much money and the girl only can cry every night. Pressured, desperate and frustated. Then, they regret their life and decided to file a divorce. Can you imagine if the writer decide to end the story in the divorce scene? It will turn into a sad ending then. Of course, there is always a possibility to continue the story and find another happy ending but movie is a human’s work. No matter what happen, it will always reach an end.

In contrast, real life is different. Being bullied in high school? It is not the end of life. If you think it’s the end of your life, you will only got stuck but life still goes on. Day will turn to night and months passed. There is always a new beginning. High school years end, college year begins. college years end, full-time work days begin. Single time ends, marriage life begins. Even after a funeral day, another lives begin. Time will fly, so does the life. There is no an exact ending in reality.

p.s. : photo was taken by me, located in front of Moulin Vert Hotel, Paris.


BoA & Jaejoong (Bojoong) – artwork selection

Here.. some artworks that I made during 2010. The second one is my favorite. Maybe because I think it resembles the most to real BoA and Jaejoong. After a long time, I begin to realize that in the other pictures, Jaejoong look quite young and less masculine. :D

It was really fun during those years. I feel my heart so much connected to a sweet madness. Young. Obsession. Passion. Crazy.
I love those moments but in how much I love the past, I never want to back to the past. Life must go on.
Love is movin’ on. :)


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BoA & Jaejoong (Bojoong) selection

bojooong board


This picture above is my first bojoong work :). That was the moment when all of this freakin’ craziness started.

All of these work already posted in Jaebo Wonderland , but the forum is already down.
All of these are only selected pieces for almost 5 years, I still have a lot in my harddisk. XD

I include all of my works, I mean mostly. OhMyGod, I have created a lot :D, so tired to link it all here. All of the works including merged picture and manipulation picture. More digital painting selection coming soon :)

enjoy :)

Feel free to take it. But please ..

-don’t edit my work

-don’t plagiat my work

-don’t hotlink

-remember to always credits me

-commeeeennnnt XD

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[FV] Jaejoong – My Only Comfort (starring BoA)

surprise everyone :)
This is actually a reply for BoA’s Disturbance ending, I think they should add one more option “Come Back Together”. Even though I don’t know which boyfriend that she’s talking about, I just found that this Jaejoong’s lyric is pretty match to be linked with BoA’s MV, both Only One and Disturbance, especially those ring ring thing.
Enjoy :)

Here is the english translation of Jaejoong – My Only Comfort (Healing For Myself), too lazy to subbed the video :P anyway, Happy Valentine Day :)


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All links down, so sorry

I would like to apologize deeply because all of the download links have been down and I can’t fix it. My account has been deleted by the server. I decided not to renew the account.



New Fanvid will be out on Valentine’s Day!!!

bojoong-my only comfort 31

I will be releasing a new edited Bojoong fanvideo in my Youtube channel on Valentine Day :).

The scenes are mostly coming from BoA’s Disturbance MV and Jaejoong’s ELLE documentary video. Jaejoong’s song “My Only Comfort” (Healing for Myself) will be the soundtrack. However, I translated the title into “My Only Comfort” only since it sounds more loveable.