It’s Only in My World

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Do you have any regret in your life?

I just question myself after listening to an old korean song called “It’s Only in My World (Geugotmani nae sesang)” and I found that I don’t really regret things. Since I was kid, I grew up much in competition, I used to feel so much pressure about expectation and responsibility. When I passed those challenges, in the end it was a happy ending and I started to value process more than the result. When we can feel the process, we create a great confidence within ourselves.

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We’ll never be as young as we are now



Yes, today is about D E C I S I O N.

It was a great news yesterday but today I am freakin’ upset. I cried a lot since this morning because of disappointment. I never thought of a great news would cause a bad news. It was only yesterday, I received a notification that I passed a preliminary session of a scholarship that I currently pursue. But, it means that I have to take several days off due to the next substantive test. At first, I was so overwhelmed because this is freaking fast and next week is a busy week. I can’t help but negotiating for my absence. Well, of course it wouldn’t run well. I felt so cornered as if I am a bad teacher for leaving the students. The hardest thing were the words “I lost my trust on you” . It was so painful. I never thought of receiving those words after committing all myself to the school. I feel like being a bad person. This is freaking distracting. So, I keep thinking of ‘what’s going on? What did I do wrong to deserve this? Since the start, I have been working day and night for the sake of the students.’ It’s really not fair. Teaching career is not a joke, so that I try to excel into a bigger thing. Moreover, this is not the first time but the third time. I’ve lost two big chances this year and I can’t sacrifice this important chance anymore. No matter what, I am not afraid of failure, I just don’t want to regret chances. God has given me a light to seek for biggest opportunity, do you think I will just sit and stay? Of course, no. I always believe what I pursue right now is a good thing. I value God’s grace as much as I value my hardship.

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ONE OK ROCK ADDICT

Based on my observation about myself, I think I really need a super fresh air recently. Talking about my current mood, I feel like I change a little bit. Unlike my previous self when I used to listen to something that could represent my feeling but this time is different. I tend to listen to music to change my mood. When I am upset, I won’t listen to a sad song because it brings me down even more. When I am happy, I won’t listen to a sad song either because it could ruin the positive euphoria. XD As a result, I hate a frustrasted ballad, though I am always wide open to listen to all types of music.

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What I want to say is I am currently so into rock music. Actually this is not the first time. When I was in high school, I have been loving My Chemical Romance, Evanescence, L’arc en ciel, Orange Range and Simple Plan. Then, I began to listen 5 Seconds of Summer since they were debuted. You know, I am also a big fan of Japanese catchy rock band Spyair and now I have another flame, One Ok Rock ❤ .

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SPYAIR Addict!

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I am currently so addicted to SPYAIR. They are actually a Japanese rock band that I knew few years ago but I just never gave them a try before. First time I heard their song, I thought they were just okay, very nice and unique. I remember it was when they released “WENDY It’s You”, I was so addicted to the tune. Now, the fever has back. It is such a very catchy song! It also brightens my mood whenever I listen to it. For some reasons, it always makes me smile. ^_____^ . The lyric is also very courageous. It would be very comforting to hear somebody says,

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Wonderful years to be a Cassiopeia and thanks to XIAH Junsu

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Just yesterday, I opened and read my old post in this blog. It was simply because of watching Reply 1997, I started to recall the time when I was still a Kpopholic teenager. Like what the drama described, being a fan of Kpop group or singer is actually an extraordinary thing. Sometimes, it can be poisonous as it can make our heart flutter as well. For the persons who are sincerely into Kpop fandom, there will be moments when we are obsessed, overjoyed and broken. Yeah… full of drama.

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